Monday, May 16, 2011

Pregnancy: 10 Things I Wish I Knew The First Time Around

10. Go ahead and have caffeine. If your child is meant to be difficult, he/she will be regardless.
9. Save the "pregnancy card" until you really need it. People get tired of it really quickly!
8. Don't gain 75 pounds. Your baby will only weigh 8 (give or take a pound).
7. If you buy diapers, onesies, a crib and a swing, you're set for at least 3 months.
6. Don't regret napping. Soon those naps will be a distant memory.
5. Professional pedicures after 6 months are not a luxury. You may not see your feet, but everyone else does.
4. The mind really is the first thing to go.
3. Don't buy the "hormonal" crap. Whatever is bugging you now, always has, you're just less happy to deal with it.
2. Make the most of that expensive hospital stay and send the baby to the nursery overnight. You'll have plenty of time
together at home!
1. Maternity underwear is a necessity.

Sunday, May 15, 2011

What A Mouthful?!

I think it's time for me to have a talk with the boys about decorum. It's time for them to learn that certain things shouldn't be said at all. Not to mention the things that they, as boys/young men, should NEVER say to a woman. I wouldn't want my grown, married sons to have to borrow our couch for the night.

* "Mom, what did you do to your hair? It's like you killed it. It's so flat and soft." JB "complimenting" my fresh relaxer
* "Your knee is so big, I can't see it." MC spying on me as I inspected my varicose veins
* "Is that what you're wearing? You need to put on pants." MC's opinion of my knee length church dress
* "Mom, I thought you were a ninja." MC after walking into a dark room where I was standing. Me: "I could be a ninja-a pregnant ninja." MC: "No, you would be a sumo wrestler."
* "Why don't we name the baby Itasbutae? Yeah, it sounds like It's-a-boot-ay!" JB's baby name suggestion

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