Sunday, November 13, 2011

The End Justifies the Means

I've never been fond of the process. As a child, I notoriously quit various activities because I felt tortured during the learning process. I remember quitting tap lessons because I didn't want to just "tap, tap, tap". I wanted to instantly be as good as Gregory Hines (after seeing him on Sesame Street). This pattern continued through adulthood and is probably one of the traits that I'm least proud of. Even things that I consider myself to be passionate about require me to endure the painful and dreadful process. My trouble with the process is even evident in my obsession with countdowns.

Cake decorating, for example, is usually painful until I am taking pictures of the finished product. I'm not sure whether this is a perfectionism issue or something else, but it's my own personal struggle. Because I've already quit everything that is "quittable". All that's left is the "nitty grit", as my mother would say.

At this stage in my life I'm hoping to learn a lesson from the process. Then I'll know for sure that the end justifies the means.

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