I haven't journaled or blogged in a while. Actually, I need a new journal and I just haven't gotten around to buying one yet. That's part of the reason why I've been on edge lately. Writing is cathartic. I've got to empty the tank every now and then. Otherwise, it's just a jumbled pile of chaos!!
I realized today that I've adopted this false sense of acceptance. I actually fooled myself into believing that I've resolved my control issues. The truth is--NOT! I have a major problem with NOT being in control. It makes me schizo. I know that I'm not really in control of anything, but watching that play out day to day is the cruelest form of torture. Knowing something and accepting something are two totally different concepts. Wow, I guess this means I have to go back to square one!
On the home front, I'm gearing up for summer break. I've typed up a schedule, menu, and chore chart. I went to the teacher supply store and stocked up on workbooks for skills retention and enrichment. I've signed the boys up for a few activities. I've researched and planned an outing every other week. They'll participate in the library's summer reading program (as usual) and attend weekly presentations. Throw in lots of time at the pool, grilling outdoors, afternoons at the park and I think we're set! This all probably sounds neurotic, but it's very necessary.